Woman of Few Words...Or Not

Dear Two Readers,

You may have noticed in my posts that I am not the most, shall we say, concise writer.

I'm not saying that's always a bad thing, but I do tend to ramble. I also am very rusty when it comes to writing so please excuse any lapses in grammar due to run-on sentences, misplaced commas, etc.

Anyway, I wanted to post something short and sweet (the way Joanna does on a blog I check frequently: A Cup of Jo).

Here are some pretty pictures of Halloween pumpkins I wish were sitting on my porch. Have a safe and spooky weekend everyone!

Gorgeous. I bet these are harder to create than they look.

I love owls. So cute!

Again, looks deceptively easy.

Who makes this stuff?

More owls. Love.

When I have a puppy and kids someday, we will attempt to make a pumpkin family like this.

If only I had the time. The glow of pumpkins. Sigh.

All images from marthastewart.com

The Great Halloween Costume Dilemma

Greetings Two Readers!

I apologize for the lack of posts this entire week. I know those of you who check this blog regularly have been waiting anxiously for my next post (how to type sarcasm? hmmmm).

Anyway, one of my favorite holidays is coming up this weekend. Halloween!

The overachiever in me always wants to scour every second hand store in the city for the perfect combination of clothes and accessories for some clever and creative costume. The overachiever in me also wants to learn how to sew, or somehow get crafty and become Martha Stewart, so I can create an amazing, unique costume that no one else will have.

I've done the crafty thing before. When I was 10 or so, I got inspiration from my American Girl magazine and recreated their picnic costume. I cut a hole in a plastic tablecloth, draped it over my head, and glued plastic food and ants to the front. It actually turned out very well. It looked something like this

My head was not an ant.

only the tablecloth lay flat and fell straight down a little past my knees.

I only discovered its fatal design flaw when I scurried into the street with my friends to go trick-or-treating. The five pounds of plastic food made the whole thing very heavy and as I ran my knees bumped constantly into the damn tablecloth seriously compromising my mobility and candy-seeking ability. All that work...

Anyway, I was reluctant to either scour or get crafty this year because

A.) I don't have the time. And
B.) I don't have the time.

I can just imagine myself getting so burnt out over a costume I wear one, maybe two days.

So, that leaves me with either recycling something lame I've worn before, like this

Killer 'B'! Get it? Get it?

Or...going to Party City and buying overpriced piece of polyester that was made by Chinese factory workers.

Not only is Party City overpriced, but virtually every costume is Slutty Pirate Whore or Sexy Spongebob (seriously?).

It's not that I don't like feeling sexy every once in a while, but this rebel voice in my head screams, "Don't give in!!! Don't become the monster that the rest of the world thinks every American is!!!"

So, I consulted my husband.

"What should I be for Halloween?"

His response?

"Sexy something."

Sigh.

I gave in. I went to Target (I couldn't stand the Party City crowds) a couple days ago, being the procrastinator that I am, and bought this

Beer Maid Beauty!

My husband and I honeymooned in Germany so I thought this was appropriate. Plus, it wasn't too slutty or expensive.

I even wore it to work today for our annual Halloween Carnival. I had to de-sexify it a little (I work at a Catholic School and teach second graders) by wearing a skirt underneath to add length and a tank top underneath for extra cleavage coverage.

The thing actually looked pretty cute although the socks were made for someone four feet tall. I'm 5'7 and they barely hit mid-calf. I also realized today that I couldn't tell the kids I was a beer maid. I told them I was Gretel instead. They didn't know who Gretel was (note to self: read fairy tales with my class). In fact, most of the students had no idea who or what I was, or what country I was supposed to be representing.

Sigh.

Whatever. In the end, I have a costume. 

And, yes, my husband loves it.

Lazy Saturday

Dear Two Readers,

Do you ever have one of those weeks that is so exhausting that you wake up on Saturday morning to a house that looks like a frat snuck in, had a party, threw their clothes over everything, and snuck out without the courtesy of even leaving a note?

Well, that's how most of my weeks have been lately. I'm so insanely tired by the time I get home that the thought of even putting a plate in the dishwasher seems insane.

I started out this morning eating breakfast with my Sweetie and watching half of season 2 of Rome, procrastinating, and then, finally, cleaning and doing laundry.

I'm rewarding myself by watching Monty Python on IFC.

Enjoy your Saturday!

My Secret Addiction

Some people are addicted to drugs or alcohol. A&E's Intervention follows the lives of people with addictions, dramatically leading up to an emotional intervention with tearful and/or bitter family member begging the addict to get treatment.

Some people are addicted to stuff. A&E's Hoarders follows people who are addicted to hoarding every conceivable thing they come in contact with or can't bear to throw away, all leading up to an emotional intervention with tearful and/or bitter family members and a truck load of people to help clean up all the hoarded crap.

What's my addiction?

Well, this is really hard to admit...I'm an A&E-holic.

I'm addicted to watching Intervention and Hoarders.

Oh, yes. I need a intervention from watching Intervention.

It all started harmlessly enough. I was bored (or procrastinating) one night, flipping through the channels,  and Intervention caught my eye.

It only took one time to get me hooked. The rush of watching trainwrecks ruin their lives with the sense that I couldn't turn away was so intense. I had to watch more.

I started recording episodes on my DVR. The sick sense of enjoyment I got from other people's emotional turmoil was still not enough to break the addiction.

Eventually, I found other shows to watch. I didn't need Intervention as much. I felt like my addiction was controllable.

Then, A&E introduced an even more devious show. One that presented such shocking, deplorable human conditions that I couldn't help but give in to my sick sense of curiosity and fascination.

I became addicted to Hoarders. Damn you A&E!!! WHY!!!!!!!!

Insheeption
Tags: SOUTH
PARKStan Marsh,Mr. Mackey,more...

I think the hold that Hoarders has on me is even stronger than the hold that Intervention once held because I can actually recognize some hoarding tendencies in myself.

Maybe I'm just paranoid, but as I watch these people go through such anguish over throwing away anything I can't help but think how emotionally attached I get to stuff.

For example, I still have all my college notebooks. Have I looked at them once in the past four years? No. But, but...I might look at them someday. Maybe I'll need the information from that one psychology class I took sophomore year to diagnose myself with some psychological disorder....like hoarding.

I've saved coasters from random bars I've gone to. I've saved every picture my students have ever drawn for me. I've saved every movie ticket stub since high school.

I haven't yet accumulated so much stuff as to discover the flattened corpse of some poor animal beneath a mountain of garbage (actually happened on the show). Perhaps this is the real reason I watch this show. No matter how bad my pack-rat tendencies become, at least they won't get that bad.

Now to settle in to watch the episode where the woman has been hoarding plastic bags of her own feces for 15 years. I'm repulsed...but still can't turn away.

Damn you A&E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DOUBLE RAINBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

About a week and a half ago, we had some pretty crazy weather here in SoCal. In the same week, I had to keep my students inside for recess for both extreme heat and pouring rain. This was the same week Los Angeles experienced it's hottest day EVER at 113 degrees.

Needless to say, my students were a little squirrely the whole week.

There was an upside though. On a bizarre humid and drizzly day, I arrived home to a surprise.

 I had just arrived home from work, when my husband called:

"OMG, OMG, OMG!!!! DOUBLE RAINBOW! Seriously, there's a huge double rainbow in the sky right now."

"Really? I don't see it?"

Right after I hung up the phone and got out of my car, I turned to the right and ...

BAM!

There it was!

Now, I know I've done my share of poking fun at the Double Rainbow Guy, but I have to say that, at that moment, I was nearly as excited as he was. Nearly.

I raced inside and grabbed my camera. I then proceeded to stand in the rainy parking lot like a crazy person taking pictures of the double rainbow. I called my husband back: "Double rainbow ALL THE WAY!!! WHOOOOAAAAA!" He pulled up in his car to a ranting crazy woman standing in the middle of the parking lot shouting and gesturing toward the sky.

Hurf

Blurf

Gurgle

My mind was officially blown at this point.

Ranting aside, the rainbow actually was pretty cool. I wasn't quite so moved as to fall to the ground sobbing, but maybe I just need a triple rainbow to do that.

Jumping on the Blog Bandwagon

Hello to anyone who is reading! Welcome to my blog!

And what is this blog exactly? What is it about? And who am I? Well, to be honest, I'm still figuring all those things out myself.

It really is just another blog in the sea of millions out there. There are blogs about people's amazing experiences living abroad in some glamorous country. There are blogs about food, blogs about design, blogs about film, blogs about babies/puppies/some other hideously cute thing. Even blogs about how Google is freakishly psychic (or not? :  http://failblog.org/tag/autocomplete-me/).

There are funny blogs, serious blogs, and awkward blogs. There is a blog for almost anything you could possibly imagine. Of course there are also blogs for things you would never want to imagine...ever.

And now [.......drumroll.........] THIS BLOG!

...

Okay...so I can't quite hear the sound of trumpets heralding my entry into the blog world.

I don't live a particularly glamorous life. I don't have the most glamorous job. I don't claim to be the greatest writer in the world (or the greatest anything really).

I guess this blog is just another voice. The voice of an ordinary California girl longing to achieve, somewhat reluctantly, something great in this world. I hope that someone out there can identify with some of the thoughts, hopes, dreams, rants, and half-conscious ramblings that dribble out of my over-stressed brain.

That's all I can hope for really. I suppose I can also hope that blogging is a somewhat more entertaining way to procrastinate than giggling at Shake Weight commercials, but I digress.

Welcome again, and join me in my journey of jumping into this blog ocean and, hopefully, not drowning.

Typity, type, type. Who knows what will come out of those fingers?

~The Reluctant Overachiever