I apologize for the lack of posts this entire week. I know those of you who check this blog regularly have been waiting anxiously for my next post (how to type sarcasm? hmmmm).
Anyway, one of my favorite holidays is coming up this weekend. Halloween!
The overachiever in me always wants to scour every second hand store in the city for the perfect combination of clothes and accessories for some clever and creative costume. The overachiever in me also wants to learn how to sew, or somehow get crafty and become Martha Stewart, so I can create an amazing, unique costume that no one else will have.
I've done the crafty thing before. When I was 10 or so, I got inspiration from my American Girl magazine and recreated their picnic costume. I cut a hole in a plastic tablecloth, draped it over my head, and glued plastic food and ants to the front. It actually turned out very well. It looked something like this
|My head was not an ant.|
only the tablecloth lay flat and fell straight down a little past my knees.
I only discovered its fatal design flaw when I scurried into the street with my friends to go trick-or-treating. The five pounds of plastic food made the whole thing very heavy and as I ran my knees bumped constantly into the damn tablecloth seriously compromising my mobility and candy-seeking ability. All that work...
Anyway, I was reluctant to either scour or get crafty this year because
A.) I don't have the time. And
B.) I don't have the time.
I can just imagine myself getting so burnt out over a costume I wear one, maybe two days.
So, that leaves me with either recycling something lame I've worn before, like this
|Killer 'B'! Get it? Get it?|
Or...going to Party City and buying overpriced piece of polyester that was made by Chinese factory workers.
Not only is Party City overpriced, but virtually every costume is Slutty Pirate Whore or Sexy Spongebob (seriously?).
It's not that I don't like feeling sexy every once in a while, but this rebel voice in my head screams, "Don't give in!!! Don't become the monster that the rest of the world thinks every American is!!!"
So, I consulted my husband.
"What should I be for Halloween?"
I gave in. I went to Target (I couldn't stand the Party City crowds) a couple days ago, being the procrastinator that I am, and bought this
|Beer Maid Beauty!|
My husband and I honeymooned in Germany so I thought this was appropriate. Plus, it wasn't too slutty or expensive.
I even wore it to work today for our annual Halloween Carnival. I had to de-sexify it a little (I work at a Catholic School and teach second graders) by wearing a skirt underneath to add length and a tank top underneath for extra cleavage coverage.
The thing actually looked pretty cute although the socks were made for someone four feet tall. I'm 5'7 and they barely hit mid-calf. I also realized today that I couldn't tell the kids I was a beer maid. I told them I was Gretel instead. They didn't know who Gretel was (note to self: read fairy tales with my class). In fact, most of the students had no idea who or what I was, or what country I was supposed to be representing.
Whatever. In the end, I have a costume.
And, yes, my husband loves it.